This is a question for any parent or educator – should a teacher openly declare or discuss specific children and their high aptitudes in class? Does this really serve to motivate or encourage other kids? Could it lead to jealousy or lower self esteem in kids who aren’t recognized openly in this way? Is it acceptable for teachers to shine the spotlight on certain kids simply because they have an above average aptitude for certain things? Where does recognition end and favoritism begin?

A recent incident triggered these questions and I’d like to know how you feel.

One of my friends’ kids started kindergarten this year. I have known this child since she was born and she is one of the liveliest, most curious, fascinating individuals I know. She has a fantastic sense of humor too.  She loves to be read to and although she hasn’t quite started reading herself very fluently( she’s 5), I can tell it’s only going to be a matter of months before she masters that skill. She and my M are great friends and although they go to different schools, they still always manage to connect easily and have a good time whenever they meet.

A few days ago I asked this little girl, we’ll call her S, how she liked school and what her favorite parts were. She told me she loved music and all the specials. I was surprised she didn’t mention learning to read or books since she had always loved them. So, I asked her if she was learning to read and whether story time or library hour was included in her class schedule. Her answer left me a little surprised, and to be honest, somewhat irked. She told me that yes, they did indeed have reading time and reading groups in her class. She went on to add in a matter of fact manner that there were a couple of kids ( she named them) who her teacher declared were reading at grade levels much higher than hers. “You know, Ms C. said X and Y read at 2nd grade level already.”

Now, I’m sure that in a class there are kids with various levels of aptitude and ability and we all know that some kids do some things more easily than others. This could be due to their age, home environment, inborn interest and talent, aptitude, genes or just the fact that they were having a better day. But what surprised me is that a kindergarten teacher would announce these differences in children’s abilities to the class. I would think that the teacher would merely make observations and evaluations and use them as guides to help each child so that he or she would improve in the areas where they needed to. I can’t for the life of me figure out why a teacher would tell the whole class that so and so was a better reader or that someone was better at math than the others.

Now, my friend’s child didn’t seem to be affected by the statement and mentioned it to me pretty casually – but I couldn’t help but detect a sense of disappointment in her voice as she said it. This wonderful child who was smart, talented, funny and compassionate beyond her age had had her sweet little heart broken albeit temporarily, as she understood her teacher’s words to imply that she was in some way lagging behind some of her peers. As she wasn’t yet reading at ‘their level.’

I wonder of the teacher said it to encourage the other kids to read, or if it was merely an observation she made, or if she in fact said it to nudge some of the ‘slower’ readers using comparison and peer pressure as a tactic. Since I wasn’t there and don’t exactly know what tone she used or what her motives were, I can’t be sure. But I do know that little S feels that she is probably not as good (a reader) as some of her classmates and no child should ever be made to feel that way. And definitely not in the very first year of school when they’re just beginning to ‘learn’ formally anyway. I hope I am wrong but something tells me Ms. C’s words may have crushed at least one 5 year old’s heart that day. And who knows how long it will be before that child really wants to pick up a book to read again.

I say to the Ms.C’s of the world – please don’t compare our children and try to motivate them to be as good as their peers – please encourage each one of our children to be the best that they can possibly be at anything that captures their interest. If that means that witty and kind-hearted little S will read at her grade level while her friends read 2 levels higher – why that’s perfectly fine with me and her mother. As long as you don’t crush her spirit, she’ll be just fine.

Am I the only one who feels this way? How should a teacher handle her class when it’s full of kids with amazing, but different abilities?