Reading To Older Kids

Does this parenting paradox seem familiar -
When you’re reading to your newborn, her only reaction to yours sincere reading attempts is an impatient wail or a few generous ounces of drool and  you can’t wait for her to grow up a little so you can actually tell if she’s paying attention and comprehending. You may even picture getting her to interact and repeat phrases after you as a pre-schooler. But, by the time your child is older and capable of all of the above – it’s quite likely she’s also no longer a helpless newborn but a stubborn little imp in a hurry to grow up, make her own decisions and in no way interested in cuddling up with you and a book.  Also? You may actually barely find the time to read to her uninterrupted, amidst school, karate, soccer practice, music lessons, temper tantrums, bedtime struggles and play dates. Reading to an active pre-schooler can be very enjoyable and rewarding - IF, like everything else, you can manage to squeeze it into your schedule and manage to wiggle out of her mood swings.  Thankfully, this stage of parenting is as unpredictable and mind boggling as every other stage so far – so, you’re not likely to ever see a boring day. Keeping all the unpredictability and wonderful craziness in mind, here are some time tested tips – collected, compiled and currently being tested by yours truly, of course, with a 63.97% of success so far in making reading time appear out of thin air, with a pre schooler on the prowl for action.

How to Make Time to Read to Growing Baby:

* Make reading to your child a priority: Obvious isn’t it? The truth is none of us ever find the time to do everything we want. Not even super-moms and dads. But, guess what? We always manage time to do the things we really want to. Be it watching TV, posting Facebook updates, working out, gossipping with a friend over phone or even working two jobs. If it’s important to us – we make time appear. So, if you’re not finding enough time to read to your kids everyday, it just means that it does’t feature in your list of priorities. Happens in our house more times a week than I care to admit. Not a day goes by when I don’t cook, eat, catch up on emails or sleep. But quite a few of them slip by without me reading with my daughter – even though I count it among the most enoyable experiences. Why? Because, reading aloud obviously takes a back seat to those other activities, as much as I hate to say it. And so, unless I consciously make an effort to rectify the situation and tell  myself that I can get to my emails or the kitchen sink after I’ve read to her and she’s in bed, I will most likley miss an opportunity to read to my baby. If this is happening to you, maybe it’s time to remind yourself of how important it is to read aloud to kids everyday. Put reading time in your daily calendar on on a sticky reminder on your fridge, anything to help you prioritize this priceless activity that you probably won’t have the opportunity to do everyday a few years down the line. The emails and gossip will still be there.

* Set aside smaller chunks of time: It’s fantastic if you can read 30 mins at a stretch every day as recommended. But, if you’re like most lesser mortals, juggling work, chores, grocery shopping, cooking, arguments, your other kids, spouse and your own exhaustion every day – you probably don’t get the fantasy 30 min chunk every day or even once a week. That shouldn’t stop you however. Nobody said that you couldn’t read for a shorter duration if that’s all you have. How about reading for 5 minutes everyday as soon as you’ve given your child a bath? And then 10 mins before bed time. Maybe 5 minutes at the dinner table after everyone’s finished eating.  Breaking up reading time into smaller chunks helps you get in more book time, without making it seem overwhelming or impossible to accomodate into your schedule. You might also notice that your pre schooler is more alert and attentive.

 * Use any available opportuntiy, anywhere: You know that perfect moment…when all your chores are done, your house is spotless, your kids have finished homework, brushed their teeth and are in bed 30 mins early, waiting for you to read? Probably not going to happen unless you’re in a 50′s movie. Does this mean we can never find the perfect opportunity to read to our kids? Not necessarily. Here’s the good thing about reading – any time, any place is perfect for sharing books in some way. Be it while waiting in line somewhere or when you’re doing laundry or are on an airplane – any time when your hands, eyes and mind are free for a few minutes – is a perfect time to read aloud. Even if you get through only one paragraph or page, it’s still time well spent. It may be your best shot at perfection and it’s not too bad.

* Use audio help: Who says you have to do all the reading? Audio books and CDs that accompany books make acceptable subsititues for a parent reading aloud on occasions that you just can’t make it. They’re perfect to engage kids in a car or when you’re on a trip away from your kids, or when you have a deadline looming and can’t fit reading to your child into your schedule. Stock up on a few of these to use sparingly on days like these.

* Read from memory: And who says you actually have to have a book to read? When you’re stuck in traffic or are waiting in line, try recollecting the lines from a book you read recently..enlist your kids’ help - you’d be surprised how much they remember.  Even if you don’t rememeber every line, together, I bet you’ll be able to recall most of the pages from a book if you’ve read it a handful of times.

* Take reading baths, drives, walks: Reading to kids doesn’t always have to be an exclusive activity. Combine it something you do everyday anyway. Have a stash of books readily available in the bathroom, car, near the front door, in your bag. If you’re not the one doing the driving, why not spend the few minutes enroute to school or the grocery store reading to your child? Read from a favorite book while your preschooler splashes around in the tub. Turn any and every opportunity into a reading opportunity.

* Talk about books: When you’re not reading, talk about what you’re reading. Discuss the books you’ve read recently or something you came across or a book that you plan to check out from the library soon. Has a book recently won an award? Was a children’s book author mentioned in the newspaper? Is there a book signing happening in your neighborhood? What did you think of a particular character in a book you read recently? Reinforce your child’s love of and interest in reading by talking about books.

* Think ‘Beyond Books’ -maps sign boards, greeting cards etc: If it seems hard to hold your pre schooler’s interest merely with books, mix it up a little. Fish out an old atlas, maps, greeting cards, comic books, magazines, CD or DVD covers and start reading. Point out billboards, road and retail signs while driving. It helps to remember that reading is more than putting together words and sounding out alphabets. Funny how making connections with the printed world expands our horizons beyond them.

Is sharing books with your older child becoming a challenge? How are you dealing with it?

Treat your teeny Valentines to sweet and silly stories!
Here’s wishing you a Happy Reading Weekend,
M’s Mom.

Is there an alternative to picture books?

Reading a book to your kids for the 457th time is probably not as much fun, interesting or intellectually stimulating as it used to be the first few times, regardless of how great a classic it is and with all due respect to its creators. Sure, Goodnight Moon, The Runaway Bunny and Eric Carle books may have all the elements to attract a child and get him hooked to reading, but, let’s face it, when you hit the 400 mark, or sooner, you’ve about had it with picture books. Chances are your child may still pick the very same books everyday for you to read much to your bewilderment and with no regard for your silent ’Not again’s. There’s an easy way out and one that both of you will enjoy.

Find something else to read.

Beyond Bedtime Stories

You’ll find reading recommendations for kids and lists of age-appropriate children’s books pretty much everywhere you look. But, you don’t have to stop with the storybooks and bedtime tales on these lists. Make one of your own that includes reading material outside of traditional children’s books. Here are some suggestions that seem to pique the interest of some kids I know, especially one in particular who’s growing up faster than I like to admit. And the best part? If you’re like me, you won’t mind the reading change yourself.

* Children’s World Atlas -  

Explore the world with your child

A little globe trotting at bedtime anyone? Why not learn about a new country, continent or a geography fact with your child? Turning the pages of a world atlas with your child at bedtime may not sound like much fun at first, but it is a reading activity packed with potential. Soon your child will be able to identify flags and countries on the map and trust me, you will appreciate the break from fairies, monsters and talking bears. Try it once a week to start with and see how you both like it. Take it a step further by picking out a picture book or bedtime story about the country you’re learning about, from the library.

* Planet Earth

Turn storytime into science time

 It’s like watching Discovery Channel except somewhat better, because you’re reading and interacting with your child, feeding his curiosity and expanding his mind at the same time. Again, a storybook about the animal or species you’re learning about will be easy to find at the local library. 

 *Magazines 

You could snuggle in with your tot with a copy of Highlights or any other children’s magazine. If your child is into a certain hobby or activity, do a little bit of extra reading about his favorite subject. Piano Explorer is an example – kids who’re learning to play can learn some fun facts about the instrument, or about some of the famous composers or even other kids who’re learning to play, read and write music. These magazines have plenty of puzzles, trivia and lighter columns to keep both of you engrossed for a while. No fairies or princesses involved.

* Poems, Songs, Lullabies 

 You’ve probably done Twinkle Twinkle to death, and you know your child likes nursery rhymes, so why not explore a few not-so-popular ones with your child? Poetry is not everyone’s cuppa, but if you enjoy it and want to share it with your child, check out Julie Andrews’ Collection of Poems, Songs and Lullabies. You’ll find some beautiful verses in it that your child may enjoy at bedtime, including These are a Few of My Favorite Things and other unforgettable classics.

* Comics

Amar Chitra Katha - Indian Mythological Comics

Yes, the good, clean kind. And there are plenty of them available today. Sometimes, a little variety can work wonders and reading the same story in a new format provides the refreshing change you and your child want. Also, comics help your child look at a scene as it is happening and as you’re reading together and so they’ve got the potential to keep even less attentive, restless kids engrossed longer. Again, much like TV but, only better, because you’re still engaging your child and interacting with the story.

* Mail 

Remember the olden times when people sent each other mail? (Yes, I’m that old.) I still have some of the letters, greeting cards and notes the important people in my life sent me over the years and I like to take out my old shoe box and read them every now and then. (What? You don’t? Laugh all you want but you have no idea what you’re missing. ) I like to share some of these with my daughter…especially letters my mom wrote me or greeting cards from my family. Since we live so far away from our extended family, I think this is a way for my young daughter to understand more about her family and older relatives and how we’re all related – the fabric of family yada yada. Especially because we don’t receive too many snail mail letters, notes or cards any more in the online age. Some of these olden-day letters are so fascinating to read now and sharing them with our kids lets us connect our past with our future. And if you haven’t saved any of those old letters(shame on you!), you could just get creative and prose-y, and write a few to your kids and read them together at bedtime. (And maybe they will do a better job of preserving letters.)

* Recipes
Bonding while baking is nothing new, but did you know that going over your recipe book with your child is another delicious way to blend reading, cooking and bonding while whipping up a family meal? Whether it’s Rachael Ray or your grandma’s recipes you follow, go over a few with your child – read out the dish, the ingredients and the method – and try out something new with your pint-sized assistant chef every once in a while. 

It’s important for kids to cultivate a lifelong love of reading and learning, but sometimes, stepping away from children’s books may be necessary to do it. Taking reading beyond books may actually help nurture the love of reading in ways and measures you never imagined possible.

What are some of the ways you read to your child that doesn’t involve children’s books?

Help! What do I do with all these picture books?

You’ve probably already realized what I’ve just come to accept – if you have kids, there comes a point when you have more books(and toys and other accessories) than you can handle while managing to remain sane.

And you just can’t put off dealing with it beyond a certain stage.

Our home may have just hit saturation point and I spent a considerable amount of time this past month going through M’s books, organizing them into ’discard’, ‘donate’, ‘recycle’ and ‘keep’ piles.  

I didn’t immediately know what to do with all the books that M had outgrown but which I didn’t have the heart to throw away. A little research into the matter and some digging for ideas revealed many possibilities. So, if you find yourself facing the same situation, here are some ways to give your children’s old books a new leash of life.  

 Donate:  There’s definitely a child out there who can benefit from the gently-used books your child doesn’t need or use any more.  And there are dozens of places that accept used children’s toys, books, clothes and other items.  Here’s a great consolidated list of places to donate books.  
Below are a few more to consider. (Not all of them accept used books as donations, but they all support early literacy and reading programs in one form or another. So, you could still contribute by donating the proceeds from the sale of your children’s used books at a garage sale -)
Reach Out and Read,
Everybody Wins!,
ReadingTree,
United Way/ The Bridge of Books Foundation,
FirstBook.
Other great places likely to accept children’s books in fairly good condition include your local library, your child’s school, schools in low income areas and hospitals. 

Pass ‘em on - Your child’s younger cousins, friends, your friends’ and neighbors’s kids all make excellent candidates to receive the books your child no longer reads.  So, before you discard or recycle a box of old children’s books, ask your friends and family to take a look and see if there’s anything their kids might like. You’ll be surprised at how much lighter the box will get at the end of the day. 

Exchange – If there’s a birthday party or sleepover coming up, why not suggest a book exchange instead of guests bringing new presents? Each child could bring a book he no longer reads, wrapped up as a gift.  At the party, have the children exchange their books. This way, everyone goes back with a new book (sort of), while having learned a lesson in recycling and reusing.

Set up your own children’s library - Get together with your friends and neighbors and collect all the children’s books that aren’t in frequent use. Set up a library at one of the houses or in a garage or storage shed that is easily accessible to everyone. Take turns managing the library. Train the kids to categorize, catalogue, organize books and to keep records. This is a great way for kids to learn about community building, develop leadership and organizational skills, share ideas and care for books. A mobile weekly library is another option where each week, one child accompanied by a parent goes around the neighborhood, collecting and delivering books.

Create a book museum at home – Some of us simply can’t bear the thought of parting with books – even those of the lift-the-flap variety that our children have long outgrown. When the idea of donating or recycling children’s books is not an option either because the books hold special memories or you’d just like to preserve your children’s items for posterity – why not turn a corner of your house into a children’s book museum? Come up with a unique, uncluttered way to display your child’s books. A glass encased book shelf will work well. So will a wall shelf on a staircase landing. Or a lesser used cabinet in the kitchen. Turn an old crib into a book chest. Find a place that will serve as a home to your child’s books for years to come and who knows, if you do a really good job of caring for and preserving the books, your great grand children might even enjoy and appreciate them.

What do you do with the dozens of picture books, board books and story books that don’t interest your child any more? Share your favorite ‘decluttering ideas’!

Reading opportunities are everywhere. Have you found them?

It was Thursday afternoon. After dropping M off at her swimming lesson, I settled into a comfy chair in the lobby with about 30 minutes to kill. I had brought along a magazine to keep me company. As I sat there thumbing through my magazine, other mothers joined me, after dropping their children off at their lessons. To my right, a few feet away, sat a mom with a little girl, whose elder sister or brother was probably taking swimming lessons.

As you might expect, many of the moms pulled out their mobile phones and began texting or making calls.  This mom pulled out a couple of books from her tote. My ears perked up.

Throughout the 30 minutes or so of waiting, the mom and child enjoyed their one-on-one reading/bonding time, with no interruptions or distractions. I didn’t exactly hear what they read or said to each other(I caught a few words from Thumbelina though!), but I noticed that the little girl was attentive and curious for the entire 30 minutes. Just as they finished reading, it was time to pick up our kids from the pool.

This wasn’t the first time I had seen a mom and child read while waiting in that lobby. On a few earlier occasions, a mother and her daughter, who was just beginning to learn to read, spent the 30 minutes reading to each other alternately. The girl sounded out letters and words and put together sentences as her mother watched, listened and guided her patiently. I don’t know why, but I find it very refreshing to watch mothers and kids read together.

Watching these moms and their kids turn waiting time into reading opportunities confirmed what I’ve believed all along -
* Reading opportunities are everywhere. We just have to make the effort to spot them and use them to read. Waiting time can’t get any more productive or enjoyable than exploring books(or songs or word games) together. And it may be the only time you won’t have interruptions or other distractions affecting your reading experience.
* By turning waiting time into reading time, you’re giving your kids the skills to survive the longest lines. Ever seen how some people never crib when their flight is delayed or the line doesn’t move? They’re probably the ones who brought along a book or two. It’s not that the delay doesn’t affect them as much as it affects others. But, if there’s nothin they can do about it, then they’d rather read than rant during the wait. I am pretty sure that if those moms hadn’t brought along books to read with their kids, those 30 minutes of waiting would have turned out very differently for everyone.  By choosing to read with your child, you avoid tantrums, whiny, unreasonable demands, sibling squabbles and other unpleasant experiences that make waiting time seem even longer.

Reading While Waiting May Be Your Best Bet

I’m sure you’ll agree – not too many of us have the luxury of too much free time. So, allocating the recommended 20-30 minutes to read to kids may not always be possible.  But, whether your child is 6 months or 6 years old, you can’t stress the importance of a regular, consistent reading routine enough. It’s like taking out the trash or doing the laundry – unless you have a daily and weekly routine, things will probably get out of hand and before you know it you’ll have nothing to wear and an overflowing trashcan. And unless you set aside a time to read to kids everyday, it’s probably not going to happen.  The ‘reading at bedtime’ ritual is a good idea provided you have the time and energy at the end of a long day to curl up with your kid and a book. Which is not the case with many of us.

But, guess what? Regardless of our lifestyle, location and nature of work, there’s something we all do almost everyday? Be it at the supermarket, the airport, the doctor’s office, train station, bus stop or when we have to pick an older sibling up from karate or soccer. Everyday we all spend precious time waiting. So why not plan better for those chunks of time you spend waiting at different places?

Whether it’s 5 minutes or 50, having a book on hand makes all the difference between killing time and making the most of it with your child.

Handy Tips to Fit Reading to Kids into Your Routine
- Always have a stash of books in the car. Encourage kids to thumb through them as you drive or take turns reading to each other. Rotate and restock the books periodically.
- Consider mobile storybook apps. These come in handy when you’re waiting in line at the grocery store or post office.
- Carry a board book or two in your bag – especially useful when feeding or soothing a fussy baby. Familiar books and items tend to calm babies when they’re disturbed by an unfamiliar environment or faces.
- Use Audio Storybooks in the car during long drives, instead of the DVD player.

Are Interruptions Diluting Your Reading Experience

Questions are good. It means your child is interested, curious, paying attention and motivated to read. But sometimes they distract from the reading experience. If I were to answer all of M’s questions while reading a book, I’d probably not have finished even half a picture book in 2 years. ( “Whose dog is this? Why is he here? Why is he so big? What’s this baby doing? Why aren’t you reading?” Uh. I was in the middle of answering your first question, when you asked me the other four?)

Questions start conversations and having conversations about the book you’re reading with your child is fantastic. Necessary even. But when and how you tackle questions determines how enjoyable and fruitful your reading experience turns out to be. Too many interruptions tend to spoil the flow of a story or book. At the same time, if you proceed in a monotone from cover to cover, you can’t blame Junior for wiggling away between pages 1 and 2.

When you’re reading to a child or a group of kids, curiosity and questions are inevitable and essential to the learning process.  But, are there techniques help you handle them in a manner that’s least distracting and most effective?

I’ll share some methods that I use with M, which work sometimes. Maybe they’ll work for you too. Try these steps separately or in combination – whatever you and your child find enjoyable. Nothing works perfectly all the time, of course. We’re talking about parenting here! If you have ideas on handling reading interruptions and questions – please do share them.

Tips for handling Reading Interruptions:
To Answer or Ignore – That is the Question!

Establish rules and offer a gentle reminder before you begin. “Remember how we said that we’d hold off questions till we finish reading the book/ or this section? That way it’ll be more interesting and we can figure out the answers together at the end.”
When you sense a question coming, beat your kid to it. Ask her a question. About something on the page. Or why do you think…or what do you think…Anything to encourage her to think instead of expecting you to answer.
Tackle minor Qs as they come at ya’. Yeah the teeny ones are easy to get over with so you can get on with the book.
Encourage them to think about the answer, or wait till you finish reading…keep the curiosity alive. “That’s a great question. Maybe we’ll find out on the next page.”
Take on bigger, more complex questions in the second reading. “Why don’t we finish the book and then see if we can figure it out?”
Never scold your child for interrupting with a question. It immediately sends them the wrong signal and reading turns from an enjoyable, bonding experience to another of those ’do as Mommy says’ activities. If 1,2 and 3 fail, then do your best to answer your child’s questions. It’s ok if that delays your reading of the book or you’re unable to finish it even. As long as your child paid attention, was interested enough to ask questions and listen to your answer-congratulate yourself on a highly productive reading session and a wonderful bonding time.

It’s your turn – How do you handle interruptions and questions while reading with kids?

Also check out:
Reading to Your Baby Series – Tip 1, Tip 2, Tip 3, Tip 4