Baby Loves Books

If you want to read to your child, start today. (Even if you have never read aloud before)

You may have heard how reading to babies from birth benefits them in various ways – making them smarter, improving their language and communication skills, boosting their confidence levels, enhancing their reading comprehension and writing skills and basically, just making better readers, and hence, better learners out of them for life.

You may not be all too happy about it if you aren’t one of those parents who began reading to their babies from the day 1.

Maybe, you simply had too much on your plate and had to mange things single-handed. A screaming, new baby couldn’t have made it easier. Maybe you just didn’t have the energy or the time. Or maybe, reading aloud simply wasn’t your thing. Whatever your reasons, it doesn’t really matter – if you want to start reading to your child today, the past shouldn’t stop you.

The great news is that you want to start now. And reading aloud is beneficial no matter how old your baby is.

But, if your baby is not really a baby anymore, and is in fact an active toddler, pre-schooler or even a kid in elementary or middle school, things could get a little tricky, before they get easy. That’s not to say that it’s going to be hard, but, hey – we all know only too well – a helpless little baby who can’t wriggle out of your arms is way easier to handle than a 5 year old with a mind and will of his own. So, we just need to figure out more creative and fun ways to get the older child interested in reading with us.

But, the point to bear in mind is this. It is never, NEVER too late to start reading to your kids. With a little determination and creativity, you CAN enjoy the experience of reading to your older children while helping them enjoy the benefits of being read to. As Emma Walton Hamilton says in her book, Raising Bookworms, it is essential to continue to read to kids even after they become independent readers.

So, how is reading to an older child different from reading to babies and what can you do about it?

1. Pick books that match your child’s interest. When you start reading to babies, they are still getting used to sounds, voices and language – so it doesn’t really matter what you read in the initial days, as long as you are exposing them to some reading or talking. However, with older kids, who have begun to understand and comprehend language, have started speaking and who may already be exposed to an environment of books at daycare or preschool – your approach needs to be a more tailored one. To make the transition to reading together easier and fun, initially choose books about things or topics your kid loves. Trains, cars, dinosaurs, bugs. As long as the book can manage to perk his curiosity and get him somewhat interested, you’re getting closer to your goal.
2. Establish the routine and explain it. If you haven’t been doing it for the first 5 or 6 years, your child may be confused at first, when you start reading together. He may wonder what it’s all about and why you’re doing it. He may have begun to associate books and reading with school or homework, so it may take a little while for him to see how your reading to him is different. To put him at ease, at the end of the first book or first read aloud session, ask him what he thought of the story or book. Tell him how much you enjoyed reading to him and would like to do it again. Tell him how much you would love to read stories together and ask him if he would like to pick out any books to read with you for the following night. Keep it sweet and simple. Make sure you pay attention to your child’s body language and listen to anything he tries to tell you. If he doesn’t seem sure, give him a little time. But, do commit to a certain time everyday and be sure to show up with a few books at that hour and read to him. Encourage him to interact and discuss, but if he is reluctant initially, do not make too big a deal out if it. Simply do your best to read to him. Be consistent, punctual and keep an open mind. Most likely, in a few days, your child will begin to see the routine you have established, come to expect it and even look forward to it.
3. Create a special reading ritual for the two of you. Above all, the purpose of you reading aloud to your child is for him to be able to see how enjoyable an experience it can be. The fact that reading is a great source of learning and language enrichment is almost a byproduct. When your child begins to enjoy something, learning is bound to happen almost effortlessly. So, to help him along in this journey of finding the excitement in reading, make a special ritual out of it. Maybe you pick a theme for a week and dress up as characters related to that theme. Or pick a reading venue that relates to the books you’re reading – something as mundane as your attic or as special as a ’secret garden’ in your backyard could work. Set an alarm or timer to go off at the same time every day so both of you, no matter what you’re doing, will know it’s reading time and meet at the designated reading spot. When your child begins to see reading with you as an adventure or as a fun activity that you care about, he is very likely to be more enthusiastic about it.
4. Have a reading party! Group reading sessions could be a lot of fun. Invite a couple of your child’s close friends over, for a snack or sleepover. Encourage them to bring their favorite books along to read together. Offer to read aloud with them. Or to help them with related discussions or activities. Play a reading game where each child has a copy of a book. One starts reading and the others follow along. When the first child stops, the second child has to start from the exact word or sentence where he left off. Or ask each child to read aloud a book or a favorite section and record it in your video camera. Make a special video out of it, adding titles, credits and editing effects. Let kids exchange these videos as birthday gifts.
5. Follow all the other Read Aloud rules. Such as not allowing interruptions while reading. Treating reading time as a special time to bond with your child. Creating or choosing a calm, inviting environment for reading. Watching and listening for cues as you read, to know if your child is enjoying a book, feeling uncomfortable or bored. Know when to switch to a new book or maybe even stop reading for the day, if your child seems particularly anxious or bored. Stop reading and chat about something else instead. Yes, I said Reading Ritual, but just like every other aspect of parenting, let your intuition be your guide.

So, whether you have been waiting for the right time to start reading to your child or are just not sure if your child is too old to be read to – it’s time to stop wondering and start reading.

It’s always a good time to read.

Also check out…

Reading to Baby Tip #1 – Let Your Baby Lead
Reading to Baby Tip # 2 – Repeat, Repeat, Repeat
Reading to Baby Tip # 3 – Reading = Bonding

Enjoy Family Story Time

Story time at book store - Fancy Nancy's Splendiferous Christmas

As you can probably tell, I am a big fan of story time sessions at the library and reading events for kids at book stores. I have always loved spending time around books, although I am no voracious reader by any stretch of imagination. Mostly, I just end up staring at all the wonderful books that I don’t make time to read. In my defense- I have been too busy reading hundreds of picture books, baby board books and bedtime stories( hey, they count too!!) to my daughter the past 3 years, when I’m not attending to her other needs or trying to make the most of her terrible two’s and three’s and other stages in between that well-meaning people assure me are temporary phases. But, I digress. As I was saying…
I especially like having the option of taking M to story time during the winter months, when playing outside or going for a walk are ruled out on most days. And what makes these trips more enjoyable is when we go out as a family on weekends and come back with something other than mall shopping bags full of stuff we don’t really need.

Story time – Something for Everyone

So, we’re just back from a Saturday morning story time session at Borders to celebrate the arrival of Fancy Nancy’s Splendiferous Christmas – the latest book in the series.  And, I just have to say, I think this is my favorite way to start the weekend. No, not by reading a Fancy Nancy book every Saturday, (not that there would be anything wrong with that!), but – a family trip to the local book store.

Here’s why.

Surrounded by books and other kids, M almost forgets to whine, nag and throw a tantrum for those 45-60 minutes. Taking full advantage of the situation, my husband and I enjoy a cuppa whatever we feel like, while browsing through some of our favorite reading sections. When story time’s about to start, we all settle down close to each other – M eager as always to be read to.  They usually have crafts and a snack for kids at the end of the session and today, they wrapped it up with a raffle draw and some cool giveaways for kids.

Kids enjoy crafts before and after story time

So, at the end of the hour – what do we have? One happy, super-charged 3 year old with a bag of goodies to keep her occupied on the ride back home. A Fancy Nancy story to talk about later ( and probably bring home some time). And a pair of rested, grown-ups with caffeine in their system, who didn’t have to deal with a tantrum for one whole hour. (If you have a 3 year old, you know how huge that is.)

Nothing to complain about.  Now, that’s what I call a family happy hour.

Borders store employee reading to babies and kids

If you have ever interacted with a toddler or preschooler, you have probably wondered on more than one occasion – How on earth do I get him to pay attention when I read to him? What can I do to keep my kid interested for more than a couple of minutes?

I have been there many times, with my now 3 year old, who, by the way, is not one to stay put as we read, even now. Not on most occasions anyway.

But, I’ve followed some of the techniques that librarians and the story tellers in book stores use and have found them to work most of the time.  As you may have noticed, they don’t simply stop at reading. They get the kids to participate and interact by incorporating other elements.

It’s important to combine reading aloud with a range of other activities such as singing action songs, recollecting stories, making up stories, pretend play and other interactive techniques. When reading to baby, remember to mix it up a little with a variety of books and activities to keep boredom at bay. Even with babies who appear not to be interested in books or reading, you can perk their interest when you switch to a different, but related activity or finger play that engages them in the process.

The librarian in this video alternates reading aloud with popular songs, nursery rhymes and stories such as this one that complement the reading process.

Note how she chooses a story that engages the children with elements they find enjoyable or interesting and are familiar with – colors, numbers, rhyming words and disappearing dogs!

Do you have a favorite activity you try when reading to baby?

“It has always been my conviction that Indian parents who train their children to think and talk in English from their infancy betray their children and their country. They deprive them of the spiritual and social heritage of the nation, and render them to that extent unfit for the service of the country.” – Gandhi, The Story of My Experiments with Truth.

A librarian sent me this article from The New York Times a while ago and that’s one of the things that spurred me to write this post. I couldn’t agree more with some of the issues addressed in the article, especially about bilingual kids and families.

Also, in the last couple of days, I’ve come to know a few parents and educators through Twitter who’re passionate about early literacy and the importance of reading to kids from birth. In particular, I came across Karen Nemeth’s website that motivated me to finish this post that has been in draft mode for a few weeks now. Karen,  author of  Many Languages, One Classroom is actively involved in encouraging pre school kids from multilingual families to continue learning and using the different languages they are fortunate to be exposed to, during the time that they transition to English. She offers strategies and resources that care givers and teachers in day cares and pre schools can use to help multilingual children ease into English without letting them experience the jolt of learning a new language.

The Language Dilemma at Home

Raising Multilingual Kids

We’ve been thinking about language a lot at home the past few months. You see, M started daycare/pre-school in April and I guess you could say that this is her first experience outside of home, away from me for some period of time on a regular basis. Although she only goes there two days a week and still spends most of her time with us/me, it’s obvious that the experience is beginning to have an effect on her.

People say that when kids start pre-school, you notice many changes in them. I am told they learn social skills, grow to be more independent and fall sick more often. I guess some of it is true. M has indeed learnt to wear her shoes and feed herself. She does fall sick more often and perhaps knows a thing or two about how to behave in a social setting with other children…but most of all, she has begun trying to speak in English. For us, that is an important change that is both a cause for concern and a source of pride.

Our Baby’s First Real Exposure to New Language

Yes, it’s great that she is picking up the language and is able to communicate with her friends and care givers when we’re not around. It’s nice that she is beginning to speak a language that she will probably use extensively for the rest of her life and I am glad that she is undergoing the beautiful experience of learning a new language. English isn’t completely new to her though – we do use fragments of English at home, read to her everyday and take her out to places where all we hear being spoken is English. However, teaching M English hasn’t exactly been on the top of our ‘to do’ list.  I’ve always known that she would eventually be exposed to an environment where she would have to learn the language and so I didn’t really put much thought into teaching her spoken English, thus far.

But, now, I’m getting a little worried.

Not only is she beginning to learn to speak English, but has begun to use it more often, even at home. And it appears that, if left unchecked, this can lead to her forgetting or completely ignoring our mother tongue – a rich, intricately structured language that is thousands of years old( nobody knows its exact age). Probably one of the very few ancient languages to be still in use in modern times.

Naturally, I don’t want that to happen at any cost.

Can Your Mother Tongue Really Fade Out of Your Child’s Vocabulary?

You might say, that I’m being paranoid or frenetic. That there are lots of bilingual and multilingual kids and families out there that are equally fluent and comfortable in both languages and in switching from one to another. That there’s really nothing to worry about, she ’s just adding to her reservoir of knowledge and that learning one will not automatically lead to forgetting another. But, my fears are not unfounded. That’s exactly what I see happening with many of my friends and their children.

You see, to some of us, who’re not native English speakers, it’s reassuring to see our kids go to school and come back and speak to us in flawless English, most likely with an American accent, down to the last syllable and rolling of R’s. It gives us the belief that they will be accepted, that they won’t have to feel embarrassed or uncomfortable on account of their accent or the language they speak. These are reassurances that we think justify why we allow our kids to switch to English, often overlooking the fact that they’re actually forgetting(forsaking?) their mother tongue with every new word they learn.

Now there are many aspects to this.

First, this may not be the case with every family. Of course, we all know that in many homes, kids simply can’t and don’t forget their mother tongue because they must use it to communicate with their parents and relatives who live with them, who may not be as fluent in English. So, for them, it’s simply a matter of need – they need to be fluent in both languages in order to communicate effectively in different settings.

But, for families like ours, where parents and relatives are equally fluent in English, and where the kids know that they can simply stick to English for all communication, things become a little dicey. We don’t notice the early signs of the mother tongue being ignored. We ourselves may inadvertently use English words and phrases interwoven with our conversations in our mother tongue. Kids ask us something in English, and we instinctively reply in English. We read aloud books that are written in English. They watch us speak to others outside the home in English. Answer the phone in English.  For families like these(ours included), there’s no real need for us to use our native tongue. We’re all comfortable conversing in English without giving it as much as a thought and so, it just happens naturally. One fine day, we’re all having a conversation and all of a sudden somebody says something in our mother tongue. And either our kids don’t understand what was just said or they simply respond in English. And that’s when we realize that we may have actually caused them to forget the language that we should have taught them to cherish. The language that they heard in the womb. The language that came naturally to them, that we had to make almost no effort to teach. The language that would have differentiated them, that should have been, and is, very much a part of their identity.

The language that sounds foreign to our kids today, because we were so busy helping them blend in.

I know that this is a concern that many other parents share. So, I invite you to join me in this discussion. How can we ensure that our kids remain bilingual or multilingual by choice? What experiences will shape their lives in such a way that they appreciate the richness of their mother tongue and grow to love it and use it at home, while mastering the language they need to use with others who don’t speak their tongue?

Be it Language or Music, Learning Begins From Birth – Or Earlier.

M’s piano instructor reinforces what we already know. She says that when a child learns something before the age of 9( preferably even earlier), they have the ability to master it and perfect it in a way that late learners of the skill or language will never be able to. She compares kids in multilingual families to kids who begin early music lessons. The more they’re exposed to something at an early age, the more comfortable they get and the more naturally they learn. A grown-up who takes music lessons or learns a new language will never really attain the same level of mastery as someone who was exposed to it as a baby.

But, as we’ve already seen, it’s not simply enough to expose our kids to something. Sure, they may learn our mother tongue fairly quickly. But it’s just as easy to forget it, if they aren’t given enough opportunities to use it.  A latent skill is not really a skill, is it?

So, in order to ensure that our children derive the true benefits of being born in a multi-lingual family, I think we should look at our peers who have been successful at this and follow in their foot steps.

How to Ensure that Your Child Doesn’t Discard One Language for Another

1. At home, insist on using your mother tongue. Enforce this rule in a natural, loving manner. Whenever someone(even a grown up) says something in English (or whatever language is used officially where you live), remind them gently to translate into your language. Allow exceptions when they’re needed and be sure not to be so rigid about it that it backfires. Simply make an effort to converse in your mother tongue whenever possible, in a natural, easy manner.

2. Read to your kids books written in your mother tongue. This is something I wish I had started earlier. I have read countless books with M, but I now realize that not one of them was written in Tamil, the language we speak. As a result, she has almost no exposure to the Tamil script and although she speaks it flawlessly, I am not sure how she will respond when we read to her in the language. I plan to rectify this as early as possible by getting a few Tamil picture books and board books and reading to her from those everyday. She may not be interested at first or may find it weird, since all she has been read to for the first 3 years are English books. Even the stories from Indian or Tamil mythology that we’ve read are in English. But I hope that with a little effort and time, she will learn to enjoy it. The fact is, reading aloud is one of the best ways to teach a language. I know that it is from reading that M has picked up pronunciation of English words. It is because of the books we read together that she is aware of phrases and sentence fragments, and how she has learnt to string them together into sentences and conversations. Reading in a language has a lot to do with how deeply it gets imprinted in a child’s memory.

3. Watch plays, musicals, TV Shows, the News or even movies in your native language. Just find different ways to expose your child to your mother tongue every now and then. This makes it interesting for everyone. Let her see and listen to others speak the language, so she can hear different accents, dialects and learn new words and relate to them in different contexts.

4. Enroll her in a native language class. There is something sad and ironic about this, but the fact is, it’s necessary. Sometimes, we need to enlist the help of others to teach our kids what should be a natural part of their lives. Many of my friends have enrolled their children in Tamil, Telugu and other Indian language classes, because their kids can barely speak in their mother tongue, let alone read or write.  The good thing is that, parents have realized the need for these classes and we can only hope that there is still time for us to instill in our kids once again, the love for and interest in their mother tongue.

(Of course, it goes without saying – we need to do all of the above with regards to teaching our kids English as well. )

As for me, I’m still in the initial stages of figuring out how to ensure that M gets the most enriching experiences we can provide her. I still have to get Tamil and Hindi books and begin reading to her from them. I’m  not sure if she’ll enjoy the experience. Maybe, I’ll have to alternate them with her favorite English books. Or maybe get translated versions of stories she already knows. I would like to get child-friendly versions of Thirukkural and Bharathiyar’s Compositions. I need to continue to expose her to Tamil poetry and nursery rhymes. Are there any Sanskrit children’s books available? I’ll have to look into that.

I’ll never know if my attempts will work until I try. All I am sure of is that M is fortunate to be surrounded by people who speak and value different languages and I hope that she grows up loving them for their difference and for the unique richness inherent in each of them.

10000 tries until perfection

“10″, says her music instructor – “is the magic number”. When you’ve practiced something 10000 times or for 10 years …that’s when you start approaching mastery of a skill, instrument or language.

In that case, I had better get started.

There are many reasons I prefer books to other gifts, especially when it comes to my daughter.  And not all of it has to do with her.

Part of M's book collection

On some days, it’s just the fact that books are relatively quiet and don’t start singing the ABC’s when I accidentally step on them.

Sometimes it’s simply because reading to my daughter is one of the easiest, stress-free, fun activities for me.

But no less important is the fact that guests and relatives are far more forgiving when my house is cluttered with books than when it’s cluttered with toys or clothes. (Compare “Oh! Your daughter must love to read!” or ” Oh! What a wonderfully large book collection for a 3 year old.” with, “Uh. I think it’s time you hired some cleaning help.” or ” Isn’t that the basket of laundry from last week?” Not so cool, especially when they’re right.) Books tend to make other clutter fade…if you position them strategically..but more on that later!

But really, the next time your child’s invited to a birthday party, or you’re visiting a niece or nephew, or when relatives insist on buying your child a gift – consider putting books on top of your gift list. You won’t regret it.

Why books make great gifts, especially for children

- Nurtures an interest in reading. Giving a book as a gift is one of the most effective ways of getting a child to develop an interest in reading. Kids, in general, are excited about the idea of unwrapping a gift and seeing what it can “do”. A carefully chosen book has the potential to become “the best gift ever” from a child’s point of view and to lay the foundation for a lifelong interest in reading.  If the parents of the baby or child you’re buying the gift for haven’t started reading aloud yet or don’t read very frequently, your gift gives them a great reason to start. Which is why a book makes a great baby-shower gift as well.

- Books are rarely outgrown. Have you ever heard of a book that doesn’t fit a baby anymore? The beautiful thing about books is that they can be re-read hundreds of times, put away for weeks and then enjoyed again. Books can be shared with and passed on to siblings, cousins and friends. They are great for taking along on road trips or to the Doctor’s office.  Many kids enjoy their baby books and picture books well into their preschool years.  They find different ways to interpret them or different uses for the same book. A book about baby animals which my daughter enjoyed as a little baby is now her favorite whenever she wants to play a ‘zoo game’.

- Books serve as inspiration for other interests. I stare in awe at some of the amazing illustrations in children’s books. For a child who has an interest in drawing or painting, these books would be great not just for reading but for artistic inspiration as well.  There’s so much more to reading a book with your child than putting words and letters together. You can help them learn a language, a new skill, about other cultures or countries.  So when you choose a gift for a baby or child, keep in mind that with a book, there is a chance that the impact of your gift will last more than a few minutes, and probably a lifetime.

- Books can reinforce an ongoing interest in a hobby or subject. If your child is already into dinosaurs trains, trucks, stars, bugs or cartoon characters, a book on the subject will help him expand his learning. Have you noticed how very young babies enjoy books about babies or with lots of different human faces? It’s what they’re familiar with and so, what they like to see more of. For older kids, there’s no easier way to get them to sit down to read with you than to bring home a book about their latest favorite topic.

- Books – the unbreakable gift.  Let’s face it.  No parts to go missing. No batteries that die. Nothing that breaks.  Isn’t this reason enough to consider books as gifts? Of course, you don’t want to put this to test with a brand new glossy chapter book in the hands of your active toddler. For very young babies and kids who haven’t outgrown the tendency to tear out pages, board books and cloth books are probably best. But, mostly, books tend to be hardy gifts that last years and are used by more than one child.

- Books are easy to find and carry. If you don’t know the child or the family too well, a book is a safe bet as a gift. First, because, they’re fairly easy to find and select. Just go to a local bookstore or browse an online collection. Books are generally arranged according to age and topic so, you should be able to decide on one fairly quickly. If you do know the child and his interests well, then, things couldn’t be any easier. Simply spend a little time browsing books in his area of interest and pick one(or a few) that you think he may enjoy. And in case he already owns it, getting a book exchanged is a breeze in most stores. I’ve found that in a time crunch, buying a book is quick, fun and almost always, the right choice for a gift.  Besides, they’re compact,  easy to wrap and take along to a party.

- Personalized children’s books make the most wonderful gifts. I’ve written about this before and it’s worth another mention. When you know a child very well, be it your own child, a niece or nephew or a friend’s child, consider a personalized picture book. There are several different ways you can do this, starting with creating a simple photo book of memories. You could do this yourself or order it at one of many different websites and stores that offer these gifts.

For older babies and preschoolers, I See Me is a fabulous place for personalized children’s books. Some of the products they offer include My Very Own Name, My Very Own ABC’s and The World According to (Your Child’s Name). Each of these can be personalized with your child’s name and unique interests. I have purchased a few of their products and couldn’t be more pleased. Another good option is Custom Storybooks where you can create your own story book by selecting a storyline to suit your child’s interest from a range of available options such as ballerina, circus, baseball and other themes. With a little bit of research, you will find a book that will make a perfect gift, that the child will enjoy for years, preserve and maybe enjoy with her own kids some day.

What’s your favorite reason for selecting books as gifts for children?

-